yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
