I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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