I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's blow job season.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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