It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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