I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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