Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
