Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
