You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
