and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
