By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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