Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
