ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
