Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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