She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We have started to decorate penises.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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