I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
