i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
