we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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