Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
pray to the hookup gods
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
