I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
