so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize