No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
