No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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