This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
