i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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