my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
