she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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