So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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