He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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