Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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