...so i touched it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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