"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
