just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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