Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
