your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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