Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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