So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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