so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
