I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
