Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i think my cat just said my name.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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