Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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