well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
