I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
