OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
