I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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