Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
