ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
