Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
