I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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