you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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