I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
