Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
