do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
