my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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