what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
