I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
