I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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