Having a random hookup so left but love u
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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