what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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