Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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